radio television newspaper

The Flyer

Scientists create robot bees

Ashley McCann

Guacamole scooper

Photo courtesy of Carmelo Walsh. Data breach that occurred minutes after robot bees were unleashed in Massachusetts raised eyebrows and points to Trump. In light of the recent bee cri¬sis, scientists at Harvard Uni¬versity have been diligently working to create a new spe¬cies of bee. While many envi¬ronmentalists advocated for the cultivation of organically raised bees, the university has opted to raise mechanical bees instead due to the rapidly de¬creasing bee population and unreliability of the local envi¬ronment. “The bee population is de¬creasing due to pesticides, environmental damages and numerous other issues,” said Buzz Honeycomb, lead bee scientist. “That’s why we cre¬ated water-resistant comput¬erized bees – robot bees. Other than the occasional malfunc¬tion, they’re much easier to maintain.” The first regiment of robot bees recently hit the meadows of Massachusetts at noon last Monday shocking scientists with their efficiency. Within three hours, the bees produced 150 lbs. of honey and complet¬ed three Sudoku books. “With these kinds of results, bees could revolutionize the food supply,” said Honey¬comb. However, despite these advances, robot bees pose a much bigger issue than exem¬plary pollination, increased honey production and impres¬sive Sudoku skills. During the bees’ first fifteen minutes in the meadow, 36 computers and 145 cell phones within a four-mile radius were breached and infected with numerous viruses. Pictures, emails and text messages were compromised, and interest¬ingly, a text from Bernie Sand¬ers was featured on Fox News that evening. While Harvard scientists repeatedly deny the possibility of rogue bees, the timeline of events seems aw¬fully suspicious. CNN Reporter Michael Mi¬chaelson questioned President Trump in a private meeting about his possible involve¬ment in the security breach; however, Trump declined to respond and instead spent the appointment tweeting about Breitbart, how hot his daugh¬ter is and fake news. Trump’s flippant and non¬chalant behavior during the interview is extremely out of character and should serve as a red flag for all. In light of the recent inves¬tigation that revealed Presi¬dent Obama was spying on Trump’s estates, the creation of bees that can hack phones and computers is no sur¬prise. Numerous websites such as LiberalObjectives.com and ThisIsNonsense.org provide irrefutable evidence of Trump’s involvement with and connection to Honeycomb as well as his personal knowl¬edge of how to create robots. Trump is clearly behind the cultivation of these bees, with more than just controlling the food supply in his sights.

More from The Flyer...