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Microphones and cameras found inside Trump residences

Ashley Mccann

guacamole scooper

Photo courtesy of ABC News. Tensions rise between Obama and Trump as conspiracy theory turns to truth.
It turns out President Trump’s counselor Kellyanne Conway was right: surveillance is a part of modern life, specifically in relation to electronic devices. A recent investigation conducted in February by the prestigious Department of the Alternate Universe discovered that the Obama administration was indeed spying on Trump during the election. Investigators found carefully and covertly placed microphones and cameras inside Trump’s 50 homes, with all devices found inside household appliances. “We found monitoring equipment in microwaves, washing machines, even in the toasters,” said lead investigator Aloysius Snuffleupagus. Once briefed on the investigation results and after watching the coverage on Fox News, Trump tweeted, “I’m going to cut down on using electronics bigly,” which was uncharacteristically in line with what Fox News anchor Feste Touchstone advised. “I don’t usually take the advice of Fox News, I think I need to say that, even though you know it, I know it, we all know it; I don’t listen to fake news,” Trump said in a statement he released to his preferred news outlet, CNN. “I get all of my information from my advisers and physical therapist, but in this situation, Fox might be right.” Trump vowed to remove all electronic devices from his homes, and he has recently announced that Press Secretary Sean Spicer will be managing his Twitter account. Trump decided to have all of his food prepared elsewhere and brought to his home. This too, however, produced some concerns in the Trump household. To rectify those worries, close chum and new political ally Vladimir Putin has offered Trump the services of his personal food taster, Plokhaya Ideya. Trump will soon be inviting the food taster into his home to ensure that no mischievous activity takes place. Trump will also hired a team of electronic specialists who will patrol the property and ensure that no spying occurs. Some members of his new task force include Igor Zhurikov, former adviser to Boris Yeltsin, Denis Malov, the long-time tennis partner of and advisor to Gennady Timchenko and Anastasiya Petrow, member of the electro-dance band Poyushchie vmeste. When questioned about his selection of task team members, Trump refused to respond and condemned Fox News for suspecting a bias in the selection process. However, Trump did ask Spencer to post this on his Twitter: “What the Obamas did, with the monitoring and the cameras, it’s awful. This is just like Nordstrom’s treatment of Ivanka. Terrible!” With his new taster and task force in place, all seems to be back to normal in the White House, but time will tell with this very sensitive issue. Trump’s impressive initiative on this matter shows great leadership abilities and a knack for identifying and eliminating corruption. Despite the considerable criticism Trump received when he first suggested the Obama administration was involved in a surveillance operation, it turns out that Trump actually knows things. While he may not know more about ISIS than the generals, he certainly seems to know a thing or two about the deep state. The Obamas have yet to release a statement about the allegations brought against them, mostly because Obama has been golfing for the past four months

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